Odds and Ends

There are many matters which somehow have gotten passed over. They include:

In India, apparently a haircut comes with a free face, scalp, and shoulder massage. And costs two dollars. This is how life should be.

In Himachal Pradesh they have giant spiders. Seriously a foot across and long spindly legs. They made the tarantulas I saw in Mexico seem like a joke. This one was small, maybe four or five inches across (and perspective makes it look even smaller – I wasn’t getting any closer than I needed to) but they were generally just amazingly scary.

The other night I accompanied a friend into a liquor store (buying booze is a man’s affair here and she wanted some company). It was the most organized thing I have seen in India. Dozens of men filing into the store, grabbing what they wanted, throwing their money down, getting instant change, getting out. Buying alcohol is a bit frowned upon, so it’s done quick and discreetly. But the amazing part was that when we got in and found the deserted wine section we came upon some sort of angry situation where two men were yelling at this younger fellow. While perusing the wine selection, it eventually became clear that this younger man had been caught shoplifting a small bottle of whiskey. Eventually an older man came into join the other two men and began berating him. The berating turned to slapping, the slapping turned to cuffs to the ear and head punches. After a few awkward moments of this going on, one of the original men yells out to the older man “Mukesh! Stop hitting him in front of the foreigners! Wait until they are gone!” Why this is the only thing said in English when we were clearly speaking English, I don’t know. What the cops were going to do to this fellow when they showed up, I also don’t know.

I’m not sure how I somehow skipped this gem from the start of my time in India, but my first two days I was in Delhi, as I am apt to do, I was walking about the city . I ended up walking down this fairly deserted street near the train station towards this group of construction workers having their tea and taking a break. As I approach, one elbows another, and another until they are all staring at me. They begin to cat call as I approach and finally start shouting out an unintentionally hilarious mantra: “New York, New York, California, Fuck, Shit! Yes Sir, Money!” I assume these are the only words of English these men knew and chose to combine them regardless of the meaning. The continued shouting as I walked past them and until I rounded the corner. Hilariously, I eventually dead ended and had to turn back and pass this shouting gaggle of men again.